An Anniversary of Hope Renewed

Nine years ago, on May 2, 2003, I succumbed to the lies of the enemy. I attempted to take my own life to escape the seemingly endless heartache. A moment of clarity and a last minute phone call before I lost consciousness saved my life. God wasn't done with me yet.

I was a Christian at the time. I had been for many years. Some will doubt. Some will scoff. The truth is that, like many Christians and one disciple in particular, I had taken my eyes off of Jesus and instead focused on the storm. I had been gazing at that turbulent sea on and off for many years, and more relentlessly in the months preceding my overdose. I am still guilty of it: Doubt. Borrowing tomorrow's troubles. It's a daily struggle to combat the enemy's lies. Lies that invade our minds. Lies that are spoken through strangers' lips. Lies propagated even by fellow Christians, unknowingly acting as the enemy's heralds. Lies echoing in the actions of even those we love most. You are nothing. There is no hope. The pain will never end. You have no purpose. Lies.

Satan's lies prompt different actions in different people. But we can all combat those lies with God's Word. One scripture I have recently committed to memory to aid in this struggle is 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, AND WE TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT TO MAKE IT OBEDIENT TO CHRIST." Every thought. Obedient to Christ, not indulgent to a liars whims. He has given us victory over the enemy, not only in an eternal sense, but here and now if we will but claim it.

While my biggest concern is sharing my experience in a way that will point to the only true source of hope (Jesus Christ), I also want to support organizations that bring this serious struggle to light and work to support those who struggle with depression, eating disorders, and other emotional problems. Sadly, I feel that many of these struggles are swept under the rug or looked down upon ("he/she doesn't have enough faith") in the Christian community at large, but I hope to one day be a part of a ministry that will reach out to these folks in a way that goes far beyond "self-help" to provide an enduring source of hope and love.